My Anthem

It's Saturday afternoon. I've cooked two meals already and am procrastinating on starting meal number three. I've washed 4 drainboards of dishes, done 3 of several loads of laundry, swept and washed the kitchen floor, mowed the front and back lawn, and hauled the garbage to the dump. My husband picked up all the clutter in the living room, kitchen and hallway, (now I feel compelled to vacuum and dust before the clutter migrates back) and washed the grubbiest of the walls in the kitchen and the cabinets.

I find myself sitting here contemplating the fact that Saturdays are always like this around here. I spend my days off cleaning the house. And I go back to work Monday morning feeling unrested and unrefreshed.

So, I've decided to adopt an anthem, because every time I hear it, it makes me smile. This song just speaks to me! It's Rebecca Lynn Howard's "I need a vacation". I don't know how to embed a youtube video, so I'm just copying the link for you to click on. It's a silly video compilation, so ignore the clips, just focus on the lyrics and enjoy! :)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Sj7nmXus-kE

I'm interested in hearing how other Working Outside of the Home Parents juggle the 9-5 schedule with domesticity? Cause right now, it ain't working...

Happy Canada Day!

Just some photos of our day yesterday! We went to the city to celebrate "Canada Day in the Park". It's been the same since I was a kid, hundreds (maybe thousands yesterday it was INSANE) of people perched on blankets and lawn chairs watching the dancers and singers at the bandshell, surrounded by an international food festival, craft booths, and wandering mascots.

And yet, going as a parent this time, and not a kid, was far less relaxing. In fact, by the time I'd done the hour drive home and tucked the kids into bed, I was exhausted. Mentally. It was so crowded at the park that I couldn't let my guard down for a second. I actually envied the people who had their kids on leashes rather than scoffing at their animalistic approach to child supervision. It didn't help that the day was punctuated by announcements of lost children looking for their parents, and parents desperately searching for their kids. I found myself thinking, "Hmm... maybe dressing my kids in white and red wasn't too smart..." I can imagine trying to describe a lost child to the police, "Oh yes, she's about 3 feet tall, in white pants and a red shirt, you can't miss her." What was I thinking? Everybody was 3 feet tall and wearing red.

Anyway, we survived it, took some great photos and had a good time. My Mom came along for the visit (or to help me keep track of the kids really, I'm not sure we did any visiting) and despite the chaos, the long lines, and the noise, it was a decent day. The temperature was perfect, the sun was out but not blazing, the clouds were hanging around but not dark and ominous, and there wasn't a drop of rain. It's good to be Canadian! :) Hanging out on the picnic blanket waiting for Alex and Grandma to return from the lunch lines. Alex, not wanting to miss out on the International fare, returned with hot dogs for his siblings. Umm... they must have gone to the American food booth, I guess?

Polynesian Dancing

Just a smattering of the people that showed up.

Meeting Safety Bear --- cool, stickers and coupons for free slurpees!

When my kids ran ahead to look at the river, I didn't realize that there was such a sharp drop off! We didn't spend much time looking at the river after that.

Patriotism... start 'em young. Maybe they'll take their own kids to the park in thirty years!

Latino Dancing. Hey, I went to school with her! That's Benita! Hey Benita, over here! Glad to see that not everyone that graduated from PGSS, class of '94, lives in Vancouver now :)

My kids and their fantastic table manners! "Hey, Grandma, you get to be the judge, which one of us is uglier?"

It was a tough choice... we had to award both boys the title a different times. Kirstin tried, but she missed the spirit of the game. Even when she tries to be ugly, I think she's adorable! :)

... and after supper we returned to a much emptier park to let the kids run off some steam (burn off the cotton candy I let them eat) untethered. A nice end to a nice day! :)

Grandma Martin

Cynthia Elizabeth Martin

August 9th, 1918 to June 11th, 2010

Last Thursday we buried my last remaining grandparent. She lived to the ripe old age of 91, almost 92. She wasn't healthy, nor could she recognize most of her family members anymore, so I suppose it wasn't a surprise to learn of her passing, but it's still surreal, nonetheless.

We travelled to Victoria to attend her funeral (or life celebration if you like to swing that way). It was a whirlwind, "drive all day (and late into the night) to get there", kind of a trip. Originally I was going to go by myself, via airplane. But for some reason I kept procrastinating purchasing the tickets, just not able to make that decision final. Finally, at the last moment, Cory decided to take the decision out of my hands and he declared that he was coming with me. It made for a much nicer trip. We left Tuesday after I got off of work and drove partway that night, crossing the ferry the following evening. The kids travelled fantastically, if you can ignore the vomiting - Alex on the way down, Connor on the way home.

Making "ferry faces". Gotta love being out in the fresh ocean air.

Remind me again why I stay in Northern BC?

So we ended up having a tiny holiday, spending Thursday with family saying our good-byes to my Grandmother, and Friday enjoying being tourists in Victoria. Dad showed us his old stomping grounds, and we had a fantastic family fun day on Friday (ocean, petting zoo, ice cream, Ye Olde Spaghetti Factory and then the boy going to Toy Story 3 with Cory, Uncle Nathan, and my Dad, while Kirstin and I shopped with my Mom).
The service was nice enough, but surprisingly poorly attended, which is sad. Back in the day, Grandma had lots of friends and family around. Nowadays, I suppose she may have outlived many of them. There was 48 people there in total, mostly family.

(Please forgive the poor quality of the photo, I took pictures of the photos on display at the service)
1978 - a photo with the grandchildren... before our family got really, really big. Now we number eighteen and we have 19 great-grandchildren amongst us. I'm the blonde one in the yellow dress having a tantrum in Grandma's arms.

My grandparents, Jim and Cynthia Martin. I'm not sure when this one was taken, but Grandpa passed away in '86 when I was 10, so I'm guessing sometime in the 70's, as well. I remember this one being on the wall at Grandma's always.


Rest in peace, Grandma. You've gone on to join your beloved husband and three of your children, Madeline, Baby Ronnie, and Aunty Anita. May your reunion be sweet.

Five Years in the making...

Fresh from our 2nd Annual Scrapbook Retreat, I decided to finally get around to setting up a scrapbook room for myself. Consider it a modern twist on the "sewing room" or even the "craft room". Basically, it's a space that is dedicated soley (almost) to my favourite hobby.

When I first started scrapbooking, in 1998, we lived in a one-bedroom apartment. My space was the hall closet and the kitchen table. For the size of our apartment, I suppose I was lucky to have all that! :) Two years later, we moved into a 3 bedroom home, and I took one of the bedrooms for my own, a luxury I took for granted for three years. When Alex came along, I gave up my room and moved my hobby into the computer room, going back to a closet (albeit a bigger one) and table again.

A year later we moved into this house. There is a tiny little room in the far corner of our basement. My Mom has been telling me for the past five years that I should claim that as my scrapbook/sewing room. I've made excuse after excuse... too dark and dingy, too hard to watch the kids or hear them, to messy... so for the past five years it's been our dungeon, so to speak. The room that no one mentions, or dares to enter. It's where we store all of our homeless crap that doesn't fit into our storage room.

For the past couple of years my scrapbook "home" has been a cupboard in the living room, a bookshelf and trolley beside it, and my old writing desk - or the kitchen table if the desk was too messy. I was fine with this and had accepted that I'd be scrapbooking in my living room until the kids move out, and I suppose it worked fine, except that it was in the living room... making it chronically look messy and crowded. I also have to put everything away after a session so that the kids don't spread it everywhere. I don't use all of my tools, because I hate setting them up and putting them away in one evening. The overhead lighting is also really poor, so choosing colours is a gamble at the best of times.

So... the retreat. How fabulous to have everything at my fingertips, the Cricut machine plugged in and ready at a moment's notice, and all of my paper right beside me. I was motivated! Last week, after I came home, I sweet talked my husband into helping me tackle "the dungeon". Now, before you judge... I have tackled it before, and made quite a bit of progress decluttering. But I never finish the job and so I never maintain it. There's always something to stash in it, and it gets quite out of control. And lately, I haven't been able to look at it, because starting the clean up was just too overwhelming.

Last Wednesday was no different. We were scared...

Here's what faced us (not for the faint of heart):

The view from the doorway. It's disgusting, but not as bad as it looks. The garbage bags aren't full of garbage, they're full of outgrown toys that haven't made it to the thrift store yet.

Shredding - see, I told you I've done SOME work in there before...

The closet with my half-hearted attempts at filing important home documents (you should see how much we recycled from that... do I really need a phone bill from 2002?)

My craft stuff - cross-stitch that has been neglected since I started scrapbooking. What can I say, I'm fickle!
A sewing machine! Aah, I knew it was in there somewhere. Now maybe I'll hem Cory's jeans... 4 months after he bought them.
and

Shelving from IKEA from the old house that doesn't work in the kids's rooms here but I don't have the heart to part with.

That bed there, that's for Kirstin. She's going to be out of her crib sometime in the next couple of years and we'll need a place for her to sleep... so I'm storing a single bed in the basement. On its side... very practical!

Don't look down.

I said... "DON'T LOOK DOWN!"

Alright, so that's what faced us last Wednesday morning. We started by hauling out the big things, the bed (which is now on end in the guest room... going to have to figure that one out), one of the sewing desks, and all the garbage bags of clothes and toys. Then we worked our way around the room, corner to corner, filling garbage bags with recycling and making piles of "to keep" stuff. My husband is a ruthless declutterer. Things that I can't throw out, he has no problem chucking. So, I'm glad to have had his help. Doing it on my own is paralyzing.

Two hours before lunch and and hour and a half after lunch. The results were impressive!

The table that has been stored behind the couch since we moved here.
My extensive collection of books --- after the purge. Our goal was to only have as many books on the shelf as fit on the shelf (rather than a full shelf with lots of piles here and there). And no, that's not a lot of books... you should see how many Cory has in the guest room. :(

Didn't finish the closet, but now we can at least find it!

And... five days later, working on the room a little every evening, I'm happy to say, it's done (for now... I still might find some cute storage ideas down the road). This is MY SPACE and I LOVE IT!!!

The view from the door (notice the nice shiny floor)

Cory's Grandma Vivian's antique sewing machine - which I don't know how to use - is now the home for my Cricut, which is plugged in and at the ready. Also, note the baby monitor, so I can hear what's going on upstairs after the kids go to bed.

The closet!

My workstationMy purged and almost organized book collection.

My paper collection (well, most of it)

The other half of my closet with my very empty file cabinet.

The shelves that are NOT in my living room anymore!

The shelves that are still in my living room. I decided to keep the albums upstairs so that we can still enjoy them... and so if the unthinkable happens, I might be able to save our photographs.

And that's it (so far). I'm actually looking forward to hiding away in the basement after the kids are asleep tonight, and maybe tackling a layout or two. Or half a layout. Doesn't really matter since I don't have to put it away before breakfast. I can leave it on the table until I've finished it and not worry about whose sticking fingers are touching!

Yay for scrap spaces! I love having my own room again! :)

A blast from the past

Well now, I might just be the best Mom ever... or not. Whatever, I'm pretty pleased with myself. Last night I whipped up this little ditty because today was "Dress as your favourite character day" at school.

Minus the face paint mustache (which Alex declined this morning because I couldn't convince him that "Yes, it does wash off, I promise"), I think I did a decent job.

Anyone recognize this little fella? Uncle Eric, if you DON'T get this, you're in big trouble... cause I remember a Halloween in which you looked pretty similar! :)

LIttle boys...

There's something so charming about little boys... until they discover the truth --- that as little boys, they can play with their balls...

Yeah, I know, that was in bad taste! What did you expect, it's a blog about my kiddos, not one of THOSE OTHER web pages! :)

Sunlife Financial - not impressed!

I wanted to post a little rant, if I might. Strictly because when I googled it, I found nothing negative from anyone. So... to provide a little balance...

Sunlife Financial has CRAPPY customer service!

Our relationship with Sunlife began several years ago, when it was still called Clarica, before the merger happened and Sunlife monopolized the company. A woman ( let's call her DINGBAT) cold-called us offering to sell us life insurance policies. She'd gotten our name from someone I worked with (another dingbat, but that's a different story) as a referral and wanted to discuss options with us. We decided this was probably a good idea, having not purchased life insurance yet. We listened to her spiel and ended up purchasing Term Insurance --- because frankly, the high prices on permanent insurance scared us away.

Enter baby #1. DINGBAT called us shortly after Alex's birth, to schedule a customary annual check-in. Fair enough. When she discovered that we were brand new parents she enthusiastically encouraged us to purchase life insurance on our tiny little babe. DINGBAT presented us with what we thought was VERY sound reasoning. If we purchased life insurance when Alex was a baby, we would have his policy paid off by the time he was 20, and he'd go into adulthood with the security of knowing that he has something to leave his future family, should anything happen to him. He would NOT have to undergo a medical as an adult, because we'd purchased his insurance at a time when he was perfectly healthy. Further, at age 20 or so, should he want to increase our 50,000 policy he could do so, up to 150,000 with no further medical.

Banking on your kids' deaths is a morbid, horrible thing to think about. The reason we chose to purchase insurance for Alex is because of the fact that he could get more as an adult without the medical exam. Life insurance on Cory, and to a lesser extent, myself, is pretty pricey since we qualified as adults. We truly feel that we have given Alex a gift and taken away some of the stress of having to qualify for life insurance as an adult.

Fast forward 2.5 years. I received a gift basket of baby goodies when our second son was born. I actually received a crapload of stuff --- if you want to score big, have yourself a New Year's Baby... but I digress. I received a gift basket from a Clarica agent. Let's call her Billie. I rather liked Billie, she was a sweetheart. I sent a thank you note for the gift basket, and sure enough... Billie called us a couple of weeks later. We explained that we already had a Clarica agent, DINGBAT. She informed us that DINGBAT had left the company, but she'd be happy to transfer our policies to herself. She came out to our home and we discussed the sensible option of purchasing a policy for Connor. We told her we wanted the exact same thing as Alex --- 50,000 coverage that we'd be done paying for when he was 20. She set up a policy exactly the same as Alex's.

We smugly paid our premiums month after month, knowing that we have given our future grandchildren peace of mind should the unthinkable happen.

Fast forward again... this time only a little over a year. We phoned Billie to let her know that we have had a third child and we wanted to purchase life insurance on her. Gotta love getting them qualified as healthy newborns. What a brilliant strategy.

Billie had left the company. Her replacement, DUMBASS, introduced himself and explained that Clarica was no longer called Clarica. The company had merged with Sunlife Financial, but that he would be happy to assist us with all of our financial needs. He came out to our house armed with a laptop he really doesn't have a clue how to use, and the news that he couldn't find Alex or Connor's life insurance policies on their system.

Umm... hello?

Anyway, let's just say we had a lot of back and forth with him and he did end up eventually locating our sons' policies. Just wasn't looking in the right direction, I guess. At this visit I purchased permanent life insurance for Kirstin, as well as renewing my "term" insurance and switching over to permanent for myself, too. Cory has stuck with term insurance, because being a man; in his thirties; and overweight we cannot afford the premiums on him. But, whatever. We're good. We're happy. Our family is taken care of and for the next 15 to 20 years I pay a big chunk of money to Sunlife Financial, but then we've got some security should the unthinkable occur.

So, why am I blogging about this mundane topic?

Well... last month DUMBASS called us up and asked if he could come out and go over our policies. He came armed with information about investing and RESPs and whatnot, which we politely declined. Then we got to talking about my kids' policies and we asked for clarification about Alex's policy, the one we'd purchased more than 5 years ago... at $25 per month, so, somewhere between $1500 and $1800 dollars later. Connors would be sitting at about $900.

Turns out, what DINGBAT had sold us, and then later Billie (although I don't completely blame her because she sold me what I asked her to), is called Universal Life Insurance. Basically, our premiums were being invested and as the investments grow (big surprise they haven't) the cash value in the policy grows and the idea is that eventually there is enough cash value in the policy to continue paying the premiums.

Umm... huh?

So, you're telling me that when Alex is 20 his policy isn't necessarily paid off?

No. DUMBASS projected that if we stop paying his policy at 20, the cash value MIGHT continue to cover the premiums until he is 50.

So, you're telling me that at 50 my son's "permanent" life insurance coverage will expire?

Well, yes, but you can continue to pay the premiums for Alex, or he can start paying them then you can continue to build it up. I'm sure that DINGBAT explained this to you when you purchased the policy.

She most certainly did not! That's dumb, why would we buy something that expires at 50 years old??? And why the hell would we commit ourselves or our son to paying a bill for the rest of ours/his life? And what about Connor's and Kirstin's?

Connor's is the same as Alex's. If you stop paying the premiums on his at age 20, his will run out when he's in his fifties too.

WTF???

Kirstin's is permanent insurance, as is mine, so according to DUMBASS, our coverage is guaranteed for life. Although if you read the fine print, the policy is void at age 100, so you bet your ass if I live to 99, I'm surrendering it for the cash value.

To make a longer story only a slightly bit shorter, we talked about it and decided to cancel Alex and Connor's policies. DUMBASS told us that surrendering them now would mean that there is a cash value of approximately $500 between the two of them which we could have sent to us, or roll into another policy. Umm, hmmm, let's ponder that... send us the cheque please!

So, we still haven't decided if we've done the right thing or not. We cancelled the boys' policies and purchased PERMANENT --- not universal --- life insurance policies that we are going to pay for for the next 20 years guaranteeing them insurance until they are 100.

Done.

Until last week. DUMBASS phoned to apologize and say that he hadn't submitted our request on time so Sunlife had to take a double payment out on May 7th. He said he wanted to phone and let me know so that I could make sure I had the money in the account to cover it. Well, Cory gets paid at midnight on May 7th, so I grudgingly agreed. Then he said, "oh, and I made a mistake, I forgot that there was a fee to surrender the policies which will be deducted from the cheque you were expecting".

Fine. How much is the fee?

Well... it's $500.

WTF???

So, this $500 that we were expecting to get in the mail... Let's just do the math, shall we?

I reminded him that we'd paid over $2500 for this policies over the years for nothing... and his reply was that we had the peace of mind of knowing that our children were covered for 5+ years. Cory's response, yay him, was that we didn't buy the %#$&ing policies so that we could cash in if our kids die... we bought them because we wanted to give them the %#$&ing peace of mind of knowing that should they not be completely healthy as adults, they wouldn't have to deal with the exhorbitant prices that we face.

DUMBASS said that Sunlife won't do anything to return our money. They don't believe that we were misinformed 5 years ago.

So... we're sucking it up and moving on. We're not sure that we've made the right decision. We're now in a position of putting out almost $200 a month for 4 permanent life insurance policies and one term one. When Cory hits 35, his term one will increase in price again, and we may have to look at cancelling at that point. Right now we're tempted to cancel the whole lot. It's just money, right... perhaps our $200 a month would be better stuck into a savings account for funeral expenses that are decades away, anyway. Nothing like playing Russian Roulette with your family's well-being.

A final note... the double payment on the boys' insurance policy... well it was deducted from our account on May 6th. Most likely before DUMBASS phoned to let me know it was coming out tomorrow. So, on May 31st, I'll be getting a nice $5 service charge for going in to overdraft.

I think the $5 is what pisses us off the most!