Wednesday, May 23, 2012

Conversations with my children

When our fourth miracle arrives there will be a significant age span between my two youngest.  I will have an 8 year-old, a 5 year-old and 4 year-old.  Which is a far cry from four years ago when I had all three children  in less than four years.  I hope that it's not too big of an age gap, because I really want this new one to fit in to the sibling group without a hitch.  Maybe we waited to long to try for number four.  Maybe we didn't.  Only time will tell if they will include this baby or not.

Having said that, the children's attitudes and interest in the pregnancy are definitely different this time around.  More advanced and more intuitive.  My children are asking very intelligent questions and I'm finding myself treading dangerously in areas I'm not completely sure how to navigate.

For instance... a couple of months ago, my daughter asked me, "How did that baby get in your tummy?"  So I told her that Daddy put it there (yikes!).  She asked, "How?"   Okay and you'll have to forgive me, I wimped out on this one... but she was only three and didn't want to traumatize her too much...

"Well, Mama and Daddy decided we wanted to have another baby, and since we love each other, we made one."

Gulp.  I waited for the inevitable.

She said, "Oh... you're Grandma's baby aren't you?"

"Yes, I am."

"Oh... so how did Grandpa put you in Grandma's tummy?"

AAAAACCCKKKK!  I changed the subject.  Kirstin, my dear, that is a question I do not want to know myself!

Then, just the other day, my 5 year-old came up to me while I was hanging out with my husband chatting.  He said, "So, how are you going to get that baby out of your tummy, anyway?"

Exhale.

"Well, that's a very good question," I stalled.  I looked at my husband.  "Cory, want to take this one?"

He shook his head and gave me what can only be considered an evil grin.

"Well," I stammered, "I have to push it out.  Kind of from where I pee."   Oh my god, I can't believe I said that to my son.  He's going to be sooooo messed up now!

"Really? And the doctor helps you do that?"

"Yes."

"Doesn't that hurt?"

"Well, a little bit.  But it's a good kind of hurt."

"How do you know when it's time to push the baby out?"

"Well, I kind of get a stomachache."

"Oh...."  He ponders this for a moment and I wonder where he's going to go next.  "But wouldn't that rip your body open?"

"No, Connor, no it doesn't. Mama is perfectly safe."

Can't tell him all the gory details now, can I... I do want him to sleep well without dreaming of visuals best left to fans of Alien.

Anyway, not sure I handled these questions all that well.  I'm sure there will be more coming over the next few months, so maybe I'll get a chance to redeem myself or at least answer them without stammering.In the meantime, I can take pride in the fact that my children are inquisitive little persons who aren't going to take things at face value.  They are thoughtful and insightful and for that I can be proud --- not mortified.