Thursday, June 21, 2012

What's in a name?

Everything!  A name is very important.  At least it feels that way.  We're the kind of family that takes four days to come up with a name for a cat, so it's a good thing that a pregnancy is 280 days long.

We have an Alexander James, a Connor Nicholas, and a Kirstin Elizabeth Freeman.  All perfect names that suit our children fabulously.  Well, we think so, anyway.

So we've hit a bit of a standstill.  Neither of us can agree on just one more (well, two more, gotta have one for each potential sex, right?) perfect name.  I think that the problem might just be "Freeman".  Try coming up with a good name for Freeman.  It's not as easy as it sounds.

Here's some names that haven't made the cut:

Morgan (Morgan Freeman, with our colouring?)

Abigail (I love it, Cory says "Abby, yuck!")

Elijah - Vetoed by my husband.  Why?  Apparently it's too biblical.

Isaac - Vetoed.  Apparently "The Binding of Isaac" is a popular online game right now.

Avery - Vetoed.  Really, what the heck is wrong with Avery?  I think Cory was just on a veto roll when I suggested that one.

Bethany (I was sold on this with baby number 1 and it would have been Alex's "it's a girl" name, until Cory admitted that the he loves the name so much he names all his Dungeons and Dragons characters Bethany).  BIG FAT VETO from me now!

Fiona - Kirstin vetoed this one.  "That's Shrek's wife's name!"  She then promptly suggested a viable alternative, "Rapunzel!"  Veto.

Linda - another one of Kirstin's suggestions.  Umm... no thanks, the baby's not coming out fifty years old.

Tobias - Not bad, but Toby gives me images of a short, round, pimply faced little boy with greasy hair.  Or a turtle. Apologies to any Toby's that might stumble across this blog.

Anthony - Kirstin vetoed... "That's a Wiggle name!"  Which effectively let's out Greg, Jeff, Sam, and Murray too.  Plus, turns out Cory has a couple of Tonys from his past that he would rather forget.

Richard.  Really, do I need to explain this one?

Justin - A very respectable name... but try saying it three times fast with our last name.  Not to easy on the ears.

Bronwyn - Cory vetoed this.  What's wrong with this one, it's beautiful!  Oh, yeah... the whole Freeman thing...

Then there's the popular names we've scratched out.  Like Emma (still holding strong on that #1 name spot), Olivia (Cory vetoed), Lily and Sophie (umm... our four-day decision resulted in us naming our cats Lily and Sophie --- so VETO)

Martin - maybe... I do have a bit of a soft spot for Martin --- but it would take some getting used to, as it also sounds lousy with Freeman.

Fred - umm... Cory, did you suggest that just to piss me off?  Vetoed!  Baby Fred.  Can't picture it at all.

Ethan... nope.  Lousy with Freeman.

Candace --- Big fat veto from Cory.  "Do you want people to call her Candy?  That's a stripper name!"  Which effectively leaves out Barbie, Trixie, Lola...   Fine, fair enough!  No stripper names.

Anyway, it's fair to say that we still need the remaining 137 days of the pregnancy to come up with a name that the five of us (well, Cory and I hold more of the vote percentage) agree on.  And from how it's looking (I suggest a new name every other day, Cory shoots it down) we'll need every last day! And then comes the battle over middle names.


Fun times.  Fun times indeed.


Maybe we need to think outside the box... Apple anyone?  
Our beautiful 20-weeks down, 20 to go, nameless miracle!  

Thursday, June 14, 2012

My little girl's ears aren't pierced.

My little girl's ears aren't pierced.  Mine are.  But I'm okay with that.  She hasn't asked me why our ears look different.  Why mine have been unnaturally altered and hers haven't.  It doesn't bother her and it doesn't bother me.  It's just not that important.

Which is why I suppose that I reacted somewhat less than favourably the other day when a co-worker explained why a certain procedure was SO IMPORTANT to him.

He has a 12-day old baby boy.  He's in every way the proud papa, showing off photos on his Iphone, racing home at lunch to his wife (who also works in our office), and grinning like the chesire cat whenever anyone asks about the baby.  Yesterday,  I innocently said, "How's the baby?" as he came back from an extended lunch hour.  And grinning, he replied, "Great!  He just had his 'procedure' and he handled it like a champ."

I groaned and said, "Oh, you didn't!"

"Yes," he explained, "It's very important to me."

Surprised, and thinking maybe he was Jewish (Okay, I know he's not Jewish, but what other possible reason could there be in this day and age for committing an act of cosmetic surgery on an unconsenting infant") I asked him, "Why's it so important to you?"

He looked bemused and said, with patience and seriousness, "Because I'm done so it's important that my son is circumcised, too."

I told him that I was very glad his son was doing alright and had no apparent complications but that I couldn't ethically congratulate him on the milestone.  And we parted on good terms, him probably never giving it a second thought, and me feeling heartbroken for the wee baby.

So it's important for you because you were done???  That's it?  No health reason?  No covenant with an Old Testament God (who probably only told Abraham to chop off his foreskin as a joke, to see if he was dumb enough to follow through with it)? No nothing... just so that he looks like you???

I am shocked that so many people still blindly believe that routine infant circumcision is still a valuable practice.  Yes, a generation ago it was recommended as a routine procedure so most of the men in my generation are 'done', but over the past couple of decades medical studies have debunked the evidence that there is any benefit to it either way.  Now it is considered merely a cosmetic surgery.  The fact that there are only two doctors in our neighbouring city actually still willing to perform a circumcision, and only one doctor in our town who will, suggests to me that it should be on it's way out, and will be when those old-school doctors retire.

Especially if your reason for doing it is merely so that your son looks like his father.

What a crock!

Which is why I'd better weigh the pros and cons of having my 4 year old daughter's ears pierced.  Soon... so that she doesn't develop feelings of inadequacy when she realizes she's only half a woman for it.  Or, maybe I should go get glasses for my perfectly sighted boys, because their father wears them.  Or, perhaps I should tattoo my boys' backs so they resemble their Uncle that they so admire, because I'd hate for them to grow up thinking they're not as manly as he is.  Oh my poor kids who don't take after us in every conceivable manner!

Seriously... leave your kids' genitalia alone.  They may not look exactly like you, but are they actually comparing?   Really?  Cause then you have another problem on your hands...

***

Laura (a proud Mama of two completely intact boys, as beautiful as nature intended, who are going to grow up just fine... and will leave my grandsons' penises alone because we left theirs alone)