My review of Windows 8

We replaced our hard drive when it fried,
The programs froze, the tower died,
Prolong its life, we really tried.
A dinosaur, or so they say,
Windows XP will no longer play,
Programs that are designed today.
I remember when DOS gave up the ghost,
Leaving a collection most,
of Cd Roms, completely toast.
We thought this one would last somehow,
Outlook Express, where are you now?
Send emails? I no longer know how.
My folders vanished to the abyss,
Sorting by groups, oh how I miss.
Try Windows Live Mail, it takes the piss!
Now it's apps, and apps, and apps galore,
Need a program? Try the store!
Want the start menu? Ha! It's no more.
At least, I can't find it anywhere,
I've looked.  I think.  It isn't fair.
It makes me want to pull out my hair.
Try Windows 8, said the salesclerk,
A pimpled lad of part-time work,
It's sleek, its quick, it has more perks.
We took it home, we plugged it in,
Updated it so we could begin,
To enjoy the world of applications.
Now, six months in, and I still don't know,
Why Windows 8 makes me feel so slow.
Windows 8 you really blow.
You make no sense, you're hard to use,
It's not fair, we didn't choose,
We just didn't know what we would lose.
I miss you already, dear Windows XP,
Your start menu was good enough for me!
Your newer son will never be,
As good as you, nay, I'll say it, great,
You're defunct and replaced by Windows 8,
An interface I fucking hate!