Random thoughts

So, much negativity, I thought maybe, while I'm feeling good, I'd update with a positive post.

Most exciting thing that happened today...  my doctor has given me the go ahead to add salt to EVERYTHING!   How often do you hear that from a medical professional?  Yay!

What else is good?

My Christmas cards are done.  My parcels are mailed.  My tree is up and decorated.  And the outside lights are lit.  My shopping is about half done.  One more day in the city should do it.  I'm feeling like this is going to be a WAY better Christmas than last year.  I've set the bar pretty low, I just have to stay out of the hospital to achieve that.

I've started actually using my to do lists and for the most part, the housework is under control. I'm still falling asleep on the couch during the day, but I've stopped beating myself up over it. A little bit of snoozing, a little bit of housework, a menu plan, drive the kids all over town from activity to activity, and then do it all over again the next day... I MIGHT be getting the hang of this "stay at home Mom" gig, finally.

The last couple of weeks were tough, physically.  I ended up getting so dehydrated that my chemo was cancelled.  So, I'm doing it tomorrow instead.  Now I wish I hadn't enthusiastically written chemo in my planner in ink over the next couple of months because the cycle is a week off now and my beautiful planner has stuff crossed out in it. Still, now that I'm rehydrated, I'm feeling decent.  And because I'm prone to dehydration on chemo, my doctor said to have as much salt as I want.  Hah!

As for NaNoWriMo... well, I wrote just over 30,000 words.  I didn't make it to 50K like I had intended.  My last chemo cycle kicked my ass (literally) and I didn't have the energy to keep plugging away at a story I wasn't all that invested in.  It's 30K words of fluff.  It wasn't really heading anywhere.  There is potential, but it really needs an outline.  Ordinarily I'd be beating myself up for not "winning" this November, but I gave myself permission to walk away from the story and once I'd decided to fail, I stayed away from the story so that I wouldn't be tempted by it.  I may take another look at it later, but not until the new year.  One thing I did get out of the experience was that I can write while my kids are at school and enjoy the experience.  So in January, after the holidays, I'm going to set a goal of writing and revising my novels at least three times a week.  It'll keep me busy between chemo treatments and keep my mind active.

So, that's me.  I'm going to make the best of this illness and assume that the chemo is going to buy me many years.  Because that's how long my to do list is, years ---  8 novel drafts, umpteen unfinished scrapbooks, tons of unused wool to crochet, and most importantly, four kids to see grow up. So, I'm out of my funk and moving on... during the daylight hours, at least.  Can't promise that the 3am insomniac me is going to be in the same space. But I'm going to try.