It's a mystery!

My job, that is. To my children. Not to me, I think I've got it pretty much figured out, but apparently they don't have a clue.

Tonight we were playing role reversal. All I wanted to do was just lay on the couch and veg. So Kirstin happily obliged. She decided she'd be the Mommy and I could be the child. She found a blanket and tucked me in. Then she sang me a song, kissed me good-night, and turned off the lights. Just like I do for her every night.

Awww...

Then she said, "I'm going to work now!"

Just like I do?

"Oh," I said, "where do you work?"

She looked puzzled for a minute. Then she replied, brightly, "Africa!"

"Oh! And what do you do in Africa?"

"I feed the animals!" She then proceeded to tell me that the lions eat alligators and pasketti; bears eat snakes; and zebras eat apples.

That sounds like a brilliant job, way more exciting than what I really do for a living!

:)

Some "glass is half full' logic

Exaggeration, or downright lying, is lost on my perpetually positive daughter

Me: Time to turn off the television.

Kirstin: But I want to watch MORE t.v!

Me: No, you've watched enough t.v.; Time to do something else.

Kirstin: I only want to watch t.v!

Me: Do you know what happens when you watch to much t.v?

Kirstin: What?

Me: Your brain turns to jelly!

Kirstin: Yay, then I could eat it while I watch t.v!

Sophie's Choice

Sophie's Choice is a brilliantly sad book about a mother forced to choose between her two children. I found myself in that position this evening, although to a far lesser extent than sending one of my children to a concentration camp. Here's my version of the age-old dilemma, "Which child do you like better?" . Picture, if you will, Me, a 6-year old on a stroller, a 4-year old on a bike, and an almost 3-year old pushing her doll happily in a little plastic stroller out for an after supper stroll around the neighbourhood. The picturesque family scene. Until my 4-year old decided, "I want to go that way!" We never go that way. And the reason we never go "that way", is because it's uphill. I don't like uphills. But, he really wanted to, so I said, "alright, what the heck." Now, it wasn't a really steep hill and we made it to the top without either of the boys having to dismount and push their respective vehicles. At the top, I stopped to give the boys instructions about our descent. I told Alex to go very slowly, and told Connor to let me hang on to him as we walked/rode back down. Remember, this is NOT a steep hill, just steeper that my new biker and scooter-er are accustomed to. As I am facing Connor, helping him get turned in the right direction, Alex took off down the hill as fast as he could. Crap! And then he was down. Lying on his back on the cement. So, what do I do, I take off down the hill telling Connor and Kirstin to "wait here". As I am comforting Alex and checking for blood --- yup, you guessed it, Connor is flying past us on his bike, Kirstin running behind with the stroller, both giggling madly. "Pedal backwards!!!" I shriek. "Connor, pedal backwards!" "PEDAL BACKWARDS!!!" Sophie's Choice. In an instant, I decide to abandon my role as comforter, and leave my sobbing 6-year old lying on his back in the dirt and I take off running down the hill. I almost caught him, too. Almost. What a sight we must have been to the neighbours on that cul-de-sac. One kid lying on his back halfway up the hill. One on his face, near the bottom. A mom shrieking loudly as she runs less than gracefully downhill. And a little girl still happily pushing her stroller down the middle of the road. So, I guess my choice is to pick the one that looks like he's going to hit the ground harder. The one that lands facedown instead of face up. I guess that must be the one I love more? My kids are going to be so screwed up as adults! :) Anyway, I can blog this because it's actually pretty funny in hindsight. Sort of an "I told you so" moment for me! I've nursed their wounds. Superficial scrapes and a potentially good bump on the forehead. That's all. Next time, we'll stick to flat ground, thank you very much. Or I'll take the kids out one at a time. Or we'll stay home and watch t.v. Happy Spring, here's to years of scraped knees and road rash!

My Quick Learner...

First off, I need to say, "If you can't trust the weather network, then who can you trust?" Seriously. Yesterday was a beautiful, sunny, spring day. But, the weather network said that it was only +3 with a potential high, later on, of ... +3. So I dressed the kids accordingly. Boots and jackets. After being outside for a short time it became apparent that the weather network was slightly off in its calculation. So we drove past the sign that flashes the temperature every 30 seconds. PLUS 15!!! I am happy to say that the snow is on its way out! But I digress. Yesterday we decided to teach Connor how to ride a bike. We loaded the kids into the car and went in search of an abandoned parking lot to practice in. We found one at the High School, it being the last weekend of Spring Break. Connor was a quick learner! He picked up the skill almost immediately. Lots of frustration, though, because he kept pedalling backwards and hitting the brakes. But, once we adjusted the tire pressure and tried again at home, he had the hang of it! Here's some photos for your viewing pleasure. I didn't get as many as I'd like because with two children needing pushes (now only 1), my hands weren't very free.

And, after about half an hour of practicing, here's the end result! Way to go, Connor!!!

Spring is in the air!

Yesterday the temperature rose to a balmy +9 degrees. Which meant that it was wet, wet, wet! We have entered my least favourite season of all --- melty season! It's kind of a long, drawn-out winter/spring hybrid. Before we get to see green again, we have to watch all the snow disappear. And since the snow gods of February decided to bless the crap out of us this year... I think its going to be quite a while before we see any green grass.

Here's some fun photos my Mom took recently of my Dad's favourite past-time --- snow shovelling...

Crazy, huh?

And here's a photo of our newest purchase. It looks a lot worse now because we drove the dirty, slushy, melty highway yesterday. But underneath the mud we have a brand-new 2011 Toyota Sienna. We are officially, safely ensconced in a mini-van again... enjoying the "new car" smell before it gives way completely to the eclectic smell of family road trips.

Happy spring --- it looks so far away, but it always gets here eventually! :)

No words to describe it...

I'm still undecided as to whether this was my "worst day ever" or my "best day ever". And I'm not even entirely sure that I want to blog about it. If I were the type to keep a journal, that would be a better, more private, place for me to write about our ordeal. However, I don't. I blog. So if you don't want to read about my own personal Hell, please move along.

Saturday - like every other Saturday - was swimming lesson day. I drove to the city in the morning, with my children. The roads were bare and dry on the way in, the temperature hovering around a mild zero. Sometime during our swim it started to rain. And snow. And then rain again. Connor decided it was 'snaining' and I figured that was a good way to describe it.


We left the city with plenty of time to get home before dark. I stopped only to fill up the gas tank and we picked our way home. I stayed in the tracks of the vehicles before me and tried to avoid the slush that was building up in the middle of the highway. An hour into our slow drive, I rolled our van.


That's basically the gist of it.

Only I because I had my three children in the back seat when I did it, I can also add "scared the crap out of my children" and "almost killed them" to my list of confessions. Just writing this, I'm starting to shake again. I think that it'll be a while before I can move through the day without watching the instant replay over and over again in my mind.


I talked to my oldest about it tonight. I apologized for scaring him and for crashing the car. He said, "You kept saying, 'I'm sorry... I'm sorry... I'm sorry..." over and over again when you were pulling us out."

Well, good! Because I was. And I am.


I'm haunted by the memory of the suddeness with which I lost control on the slushy highway, and the panic as we started to spin. Then the sight of nothing but snow as the ditch loomed in front of me. And then the whirling roller coaster sensation as we rolled down the embankment. And then the terrified screams of my children from the back seat.


Then I don't really remember what happened until I was standing in the snow, pulling my daughter out through the broken window. A man showed up on the other side of the van asking if we were okay. I yelled, "can you help me get my kids out?"


Alex reminds me that I forgot to say "please".


The rest is a blur of goodwill and help. So many people pulled over to offer assistance, despite the fact that doing so endangered their own travel on the treacherous road conditions. A couple from town who look vaguely familiar, took us in to their car to wait for the emergency vehicles to arrive. He, coincidently was an off-duty paramedic. He assessed my children and immobilized Connor as a precaution because Connor said his neck hurt. His wife helped me dial our home number because my hands were shaking too badly --- plus I found her fancy iphone far to complicated to figure out in my present state of mind.


Connor left in the first ambulance, strapped to a board, bleeding from his forehead and nose. I stayed behind with my other two and followed in the second, feeling guilty about sending him off with strangers, but knowing that my husband was already on his way to the hospital to meet him. Our ambulance ride was less of a priority and more of a technicality, as Alex recalls bumping his head but has no visible injuries or ill-effects. Kirstin has lacerations on her forehead and on both of her tiny hands. I have a mere cut on my finger and one on my wrist, probably from pulling my children through the window. I also have a heavy, guilt-laden heart, but no amount of medication can fix that.

I needn't have worried about Connor being alone in the first ambulance. He thoroughly enjoyed himself. He wowed the attendants with his mastery of the alphabet and his ability to count. He proudly told them he was so smart because he eats chicken. At the emergency room he was given an all-clear and three popsicles. Our arrival there during his third popsicle, was short-lived. Kirstin immediately started running circles and giggling. Alex was weepy but unharmed. My heartrate and blood pressure where elevated, but no one thought much of that. It was pretty obvious to the nurses on duty that we were one lucky - healthy - family. We walked home together with my husband, who was relieved to see us all.


I think I maybe have a guardian angel out there somewhere. Maybe one of my grandparents, perhaps? It wasn't our turn to go. Someone was looking out for us on Saturday. And for that, I am truly grateful!


I visited our trusty vehicle in the impound today, to salvage what I could of our belongings before saying good bye to it forever. I took several photos. I may or may not scrapbook them. I'm not sure the children want to relive the experience when they're looking through our family album, however it does mark a pretty momentous event in their relatively short lives thus far.

Here's our beloved Sienna. Rest in Peace, we will miss you! The front didn't sustain much damage, which explains why I got off completely scot-free.

The part we could see from the highway. It really didn't look all that bad from our vantage point in our rescuers' vehicle.
The driver's side, however, crumpled. The windows blew out. The trunk got crunched. I think I must have went into the ditch back first, based on the damage. (Another thing that probably saved us).

There are no words to describe this angle. It's horrific to imagine the alternate ending to our scenario.

Here's the roof of the van resting on the headrest on the back of my daughter's seat. If she'd been any taller, or if I'd had one of the boys sitting in that position instead... our ambulance ride would have been so very, very different.

And so, as this is very much the most horrific thing I've ever done or experienced, it's also the most wonderful, uplifting thing that I can describe as well. I walked out of that ditch with my three children. I don't know how, or why. I only know that I am so very, very, very lucky.

(I also know that people who don't wear seat belts and use appropriate child restraints are dumb-asses. Because they truly do save lives. They saved my babies' lives. So use them, dumb-ass!) --- just a little PSA...

What's the differential diagnosis?

Subject 1 (6 years old), symptoms:
Day 1: red and white spotted rash on torso.
Day 2: rash on torso spreads to face. Clears up on Day 3.
Day 5: diarrhea. Subject stays home from school.
Day 8: cough and general malaise. Subject stays home from school. Experiences night-time vomiting.
Days 9 through 13: cough

Subject 2 (4 years old), symptoms:
Day 9: sudden onset of nighttime vomiting
wheezing whistling laboured breathing
barking cough
ER diagnosis of Croup.
Responds to nebulizer and steroids.
Days 10 through 12: cough but breathing returns to normal.
Day 13: vomiting but hearty appetite.

Subject 3 (2.5 years old), symptoms:
Day 11: diarrhea and cough
Day 12: diarrhea and cough; low-grade fever. Responds to children's tylenol.
Day 13: diarrhea, cough, bright red cheeks, listlessness, fever, leaking from nose
and eyes. Extreme grumpiness.

Subjects 4 and 5 (age unknown) symptoms:
Tired and underslept but otherwise unscathed.

Welcome to our home... enter at your own risk!