The Birds and the Bees...

So I swore that I would be the kind of parent that answers my children's questions honestly and with as much clarity as I could. But I have to admit, my 4-year old chatterbox often leaves me in a cold sweat with some of his topics of discussion. Take last night, at bedtime, for example... our conversation went a little something like this:

Alex: Mama, what do babies eat when they're in your tummy?

Me: Whatever I eat.

Alex: So, if you eat pizza, the baby eats pizza!

Me: Well, sort of.

Alex: How?

Me: Well, the baby has a tube, called a cord, attached to its Mom and to its belly button, and the food goes through there.

Alex: Then why do Daddies have belly buttons too, they don't feed babies?

Me: Aah... no, the tube just goes to the baby's belly button. That's why people have belly buttons. Daddies have belly buttons because they used to eat through tubes in their Mom's tummies when they were babies.

Alex: So what happens to the cord after the baby is born?

Me: Well, the doctor cuts it off.

Alex: What about the end that is attached to the Mom? Does he cut that part too?

Me: Umm... well, that comes out when the baby does.

(At this point I'm starting to think I'm walking into a trap of sorts...)

Alex: Does the baby breathe when the Mommy breathes?

Me: Yes, and eats and sleeps... that's how the baby grows.

Alex: What else do you have to do to grow a baby?

(Uh oh... here it comes...)

Me: Well, exercise, drinking lots of water, getting lots of rest...

(yes, I chickened out)

The room is starting to close in on me at this point (I'll admit it, discussing certain topics does not come naturally to me) so I say "Alex, it's bedtime so you can ask me one more question and then I'm going to go." (oh don't look at me like that... if I don't limit his bedtime questions, I'm in there for hours)

Alex hesitates for a minute and you can almost see the wheels turning in his head. Then he says...

Insert ominous drumroll here...

"Mama... where does Santa Claus buy his red suit and hat?"

LOL

Go ask your Daddy!